Today was a nondescript day, about 50% rocks, and 50% soft trail. The elevation was relatively flat, but it was both an easy and a hard day. It was easy in that the trail was relatively forgiving, but the rocks were terrible. There were at least four boulder fields to cross. The weather was dry and cool. When I got to the shelter, which was Eagles Nest Shelter, it was full of mosquitoes, so I set up my hammock in a nearby cleared space. A number of through hikers have either been here and left or are staying the night.
The reason the day was terrible was because I spent most of it trying to figure out why I am here. I briefly spoke to Allyson earlier today to make arrangements to stay in Port Clinton tomorrow, and I asked her why I was here. She replied, “Because you love it, and because you spent a lot of money to get there.“ That’s not a “why” – that’s a “how.”
I can think of two reasons why I’m here. The first is because I wanted to discern whether or not I want to become a deacon. So far, I haven’t gotten an answer, and I don’t think I’ll get an answer until maybe next year. In fact, my buddy in Harrisburg gave me several reasons for not becoming a deacon so maybe that’s the answer. Unless something happens in the next week, I don’t know that I’ll be able to figure this one out yet, and that’s probably the way it ought to be.
The second reason is that I wanted to put a period at the end of this phase in my life. I wanted to definitively end my IT career, hit pause for a month, and then start to do something new in August. I think I’ve accomplished this one. It’s not that I wanted to just leave everybody, the break was more for me than anybody else.
I heard those 30- somethings several days ago talking about “finding themselves” on the AT. i’m not trying to find myself, I know who I am. I don’t believe the AT can help you find yourself. What the trail does is it magnifies those things that you don’t have time to think about in the real world. So anything you “find“ on the trail you already brought with you.
My cough has gotten worse, and my feet are killing me on these rocks. I’m not ready to quit, but I’m taking it one day at a time. Please pray for me.
Today’s mileage: 9.8
Total trail miles: 185.6